Discipling Donors: Building vs. Extracting
In this powerful reflection, church planter Demeko Bivens shares his personal journey from rural poverty to leading an urban church, highlighting the tension he felt around fundraising. Rather than viewing donors as financial sources, he redefines support-raising as a form of discipleship and a gospel partnership that transforms both giver and receiver.
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Demeko Bivens | Sep 3, 2025, 13:22 PM
In this powerful reflection, church planter Demeko Bivens shares his personal journey from rural poverty to leading an urban church, highlighting the tension he felt around fundraising. Rather than viewing donors as financial sources, he redefines support-raising as a form of discipleship and a gospel partnership that transforms both giver and receiver.
The Tension of Fundraising: My Story
When I first stepped into church planting, my heart was clear. I wasn’t in it to build budgets or extract resources from people. I was in it to make disciples, disciples who would make more disciples, so that more people could know Jesus. That was always the vision.
But when I was confronted with support-raising, it was far from what I had envisioned for church planting. For added context, I’m originally from State Line, Mississippi. My mother gave birth to me at 14, and my father was incarcerated for most of my formative years. All that to say, I didn’t come from money, and I didn’t know many people who had it.
On top of that, I watched my mother struggle. I made up my mind early on that I would work hard so I’d never have to ask anyone for money. As a Black man growing up in the rural South, support-raising was something I had never even heard of. But God had other plans.
Fast forward to January 2021, when we planted in Houston. Coming out of COVID, the needs in our city were overwhelming, bigger than we had anticipated, and bigger than we could meet on our own. And it wasn’t just us. Our whole team felt it. If you tried to meet every need yourself, you would go broke in a week. We needed partners, and I wanted those partnerships to be about discipleship, not extraction.
Building Discipleship Bridges
The best way I can describe what I saw in Houston is with the imagery of forests and deserts. The inner city can feel like a desert, marked by generational poverty, crime, health disparities, and financial illiteracy. Meanwhile, others live in what feels like a forest, places of expendable income, generational wealth, and financial literacy.
A key part of ministry is building bridges between the forest and the desert so that the resources of one can bring life to the other. That is what partnership is meant to be. And it is not just a financial bridge—it is discipleship.
So how do we do it? How do we disciple our donors as we build these bridges? It begins with relationships.
Relationships Over Resources
Relationships are the key. Getting to know donors and letting them truly know you. Early on, I realized how easy it is to see donors as “funding sources.” But the words of my friend Mike still shape me: “People are not my provider. God is my provider.”
Life in Houston was different from where we had come from in Hattiesburg, MS. On the Southside, the financial needs are real: rent, ministry supplies, benevolence, and outreach. But if I reduce a donor to a dollar sign, I miss something crucial: they’re not just giving money, they’re being invited into the mission of God with us.
My role is not simply to raise funds, but to disciple donors, to help them become faithful stewards of their finances and partners with God in His mission.
Everything Disciples
We are all being discipled by something, toward something.
If you’re an Arsenal fan (for my fellow Americans, that’s soccer), you go to matches, learn the chants, and keep up with scores and trades. In that sense, Arsenal is discipling you.
If you go to church, read your Bible, practice generosity, fast, and pray, you are being discipled into deeper intimacy with God.
The truth is, we are all being discipled toward godliness or worldliness, and our finances are no exception.
Donors Are Disciples Too
Philippians 1:5 has become an anchor for me: “because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.”
The Greek word Paul uses for “partnership” is koinonia. It means more than financial support. It’s fellowship, communion, a deep sharing in life and mission.
When a donor gives, they are not merely cutting a check; they are stepping into koinonia, participating in the advance of the gospel alongside us.
Discipleship isn’t limited to Bible studies or Sunday gatherings. It’s about aligning every part of our lives with Jesus, including our money.
Donors Need Formation Too
Henri Nouwen captures this beautifully:
1“The ministry of offering opportunities to give to Kingdom work invites those with money to enter into a new relationship with their wealth; it also calls us to be converted into a new relationship with our need.”
This reframes support-raising as discipleship. When I invite a business owner in the suburbs to invest in our inner-city church, I’m not begging for money. I’m inviting them into spiritual transformation. They are being discipled to see money not as security, but as a tool for Kingdom partnership.
At the same time, I’m being discipled too, learning to trust God with my needs instead of trying to control outcomes.
From Extraction to Invitation
Extracting money is transactional. Discipling donors is relational. And relationships are at the heart of the gospel.
People know when you just want money from them, and they know when you want something more. Extraction leaves a donor feeling like an ATM. Discipleship leaves them with a sense of calling and joy. One drains the soul; the other multiplies faith.
Here are a few ways I try to live this out:
- Pray with donors, not just for them. Their role in the mission is Spirit-led, not just budget-driven.
- Invite donors to pray for you. I ask them to intercede for specific needs in the life of my family and church.
- Share stories of transformation. When they hear about the single mom who received furniture or the student who heard the gospel at TSU, they see their giving as seed bearing fruit.
- Invite, don’t pressure. My tone matters. I’m not asking for a favor; I’m inviting them into fellowship in the gospel.
- Celebrate generosity as discipleship. Their giving is worship just as much as singing or serving.
The Joy of Partnership
When I disciple donors, I remind them: You are not funding my vision. You are sharing in God’s vision. That’s koinonia. That’s partnership. And it disciples both of us into deeper trust in Jesus.
So, to my fellow planters: don’t just extract. Invite. Don’t just raise money. Raise disciples. Because when generosity is shaped by the gospel, everyone is transformed: the giver, the planter, and the community.
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1Nouwen, H. J. M. (2004). A Spirituality of Fundraising. Upper Room Books.
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